Sandra Wilson's Hurt People Hurt People



Sandra Wilson's Hurt People Hurt People

Introduction

The angry pain we feel when we are victimized by the selfishness of others is an inevitable part of the human condition. How we react to those injustices can make all the difference in our hearts and lives. Here is biblical guidance for overcoming our own hurts and arresting the vicious cycle that causes us to hurt others. Author Dr. Sandra Wilson helps us understand the pain in our past and the ways we continue the cycle. Then she shows us how hurtful patterns can be broken only through the power and love of Jesus — the Healer of all hurts.

Discussion

Wilson's (2001) theory of change is behavioral in its basic form. She writes, “Making and consistently practicing new choices produces change” (p. 87). However, her presentation of this model clearly extends beyond this one theoretical framework. After laying the foundation for understanding how brokenness results in maladaptive coping, Dr. Wilson (2001) then begins to talk in terms of recognizing and identifying the real issues that need to be worked on at a personal level. From that perspective, truth can be seen and new choices can be made. A consistent practice of these new choices will result in new habits. New habits ultimately will result in a changed person. At the very least, her model is Cognitive Behavioral in its makeup. Tilden & Detallio (2005) reinforce a theoretical construct of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy in writing that “a central part of standard cognitive therapy involves an individual case conceptualization” that includes an understanding of the foundation of the automatic thoughts that influence behavior (p. 144). This foundation is built out of “family-of-origin and early childhood experiences” resulting in “self-conceptualization schemas and protecting/compensating coping strategies” (p. 145).

The clinician must understand the possibility of a “critical event/situation that activates/triggers the maladaptive schema and coping strategies” (p. 145). Even though Wilson does not call her approach a Cognitive Behavioral Therapy approach, her writing clearly outlines the need to understand these things and then change the thinking processes that are resulting in personal distress. Wilson maintains a balanced perspective concerning the gaining of insights and awareness in relationship to the requirement that one initiate and maintain new behaviors in their life. She states that one must remember the “difference between self-focus and self-awareness” (p. 116). However, the gaining of self-awareness is necessary. “Have you ever stopped to consider that we cannot change what we did not choose” (p. 88)? In other words, there is the possibility that a person is subjectively making choices based on unconscious motivations that have never surfaced to the conscious and cognitive levels of personal awareness. This is of primary importance.

Wilson reminds us, “We won't know we can change what we don't know we have chosen” (p. 88). She goes on to say there must be a balance between insight and understanding. We must each take personal responsibility for our behaviors and for the process of personal development ...