“HURT PEOPLE HURT PEOPLE”

Critique on “Hurt People Hurt People”

Critique on “Hurt People Hurt People”

Concise Summary

With an emphasis on family systems and a cognitive, behavioral approach, Dr. Wilson explains that children, because of their lack of ability and reasoning capabilities are unable to think for themselves. It gives parents more ammunition that they have the right to control their children to the extremes. In unhealthy families, some parents will go as far as saying that to be a part of this family you will do as I say. It is not until children get older, when they develop the ability to question their parent's actions. This only comes with time, education, and experience.

In the first half of her book, Dr. Wilson discusses the variety of ways that we are hurt by other people such as by liars and thieves, our own choices, unprepared and unavailable parents and other unseen wounds. The second half of the book, Wilson outlines what people will need so they can stop the hurting or reduce the hurt that he or she feels by outlining processes for change.

She emphasizes that in order to change, we must admit to our own choices. We cannot change other people's choices, only our own. One of the first wounds Dr. Wilson discusses unseen wounds. Her premise is that victimizers are victims themselves. Dr. Wilson writes from her personal experience as a victim herself. Her father attempted to kill her and her mother when she was pregnant. Later in her childhood, she was abused by her alcoholic step-father as well as witnessed the abuse on her mother. Her mother was hurt by her ex-husband, and then by her next husband when she re-married. Due to their limited cognitive abilities, children are physically and intellectually different from their parents and other adults, leaving them vulnerable to abuse and neglect.” (Wilson, 2001) Wilson describes the hurt that comes from childhood fantasies. It is the fantasy of a child as seeing themselves as the center of the universe and believing that they possess powers that can cause events as well as control how people act and feel.

Evaluation of the Strengths and Weaknesses

I found Wilson's approach fascinatingly insightful. Her insights into the issues of relational hurts are clear and may be easily applied to the realm of biblical counseling and pastoral ministry. Wilson explores the concept that what we hold onto in terms of hurts and ...