CONFLICT ON MARITAL SATISFACTION

Effects of unresolved conflict on marital satisfaction and longevity

Effects of unresolved conflict on marital satisfaction and longevity

Introduction

Marriage has been described as the most important and fundamental human relationship because it provides the primary structure for establishing a family relationship and rearing the next generation (Larson & Holman, 1994). The desirability of marriage is reflected in surveys suggesting that 90% of Americans will choose to marry at some point in their lives (Brubaker & Kimberly, 1993). According to Orbuch & Custer, (1995), a good marriage provides individuals with a sense of meaning and identity in their lives.

There have been many studies in Marital Satisfaction for Christians. Mahoney et al (1999, cited in Bradbury, Fincham & Beach, 2000) showed that several aspects of marriage quality (e.g. marital satisfaction) are predicted by religious activities such as praying together and considering the sanctity of marriage. Hatch, James and Schumm (1986) studied the interaction between (inter alia) Spiritual Intimacy and Marital Satisfaction.

They found that while Spiritual Intimacy correlated significantly with Emotional Intimacy and Marital Satisfaction, it did not have a direct effect on Marital Satisfaction, rather it affected Marital Satisfaction indirectly, via Emotional Intimacy. Another view is that of Thornton and Camburn (1989, cited in Call & Heaton, 1997) which suggests that there is a reciprocal relationship between religiosity and family oriented behaviours, that is religiosity may be affected by a change in family behaviours, and family behaviours may be affected by a change in religiosity. Berggren (1997) found that religion discourages divorces, to the extent of a 14% decrease in one city in Sweden.

Gartner, Larson & Allen (1991, cited in Legako & Sorenson, 2000) found that religious psychotherapists experience higher levels of marital satisfaction and lower divorce rates, especially if they attend church together regularly. Jones, Watson & Wolfram (1992, cited in Legako & Sorenson, 2000) found that of the alumni of seven Christian psychology graduate programs, 80.5% were married, 15.9% were single, 0.5% were cohabiting, and 4.7% were divorced.

Robinson (2002) refers to studies which show a lower divorce rate for agnostics and atheists than for Christians, and suspects that there may be two factors which skew the results: firstly that some couples drop out of church after divorce; and secondly, that financial and educational levels may need to be considered (Christianity seems to be stronger among poorer communities, where educational levels also vary from the norm).

A variety of studies have demonstrated that people are generally happier and healthier when they are married (Gottman, 1994; Kelly & Conley, 1987; White, 1994). Yet, while marriage seems to be a highly desirable relationship, statistics indicate that marital satisfaction is not easily achieved. One has only to consider the chronically high rates of divorce in order to appreciate the magnitude of this problem.

Between one half and two thirds of all first marriages in the United States end in divorce (Brubaker & Kimberly, 1993; Martin & Bumpass, 1989). The decision to divorce, however, does not mean that these individuals do not want to be ...