UNRESOLVED MARITAL CONFLICT

Unresolved Marital Conflict

Unresolved Marital Conflict

Every marriage will have some degree of conflict and marital differences. Marriage is not an easy adventure, it takes time, patience, respect, love, and understanding. Even the most loving and agreeable people can have marital conflict. The important thing to remember is that you must resolve your marital problems. Never avoid your marital problems, you must find ways to deal with marital conflict. Like all interpersonal relationships, marriage has its share of ups and downs. Conflict is inevitable when two people coexist. However, unresolved or poorly handled marital conflict can greatly affect the intimacy between partners. Even small issues can later become catastrophic if not managed properly. Angry words tossed at a partner sting well beyond the moment. Many techniques to successfully resolve conflict in a marriage take time and patience to learn, but are instrumental in building a dynamic marriage.( Krauitz, 1997)

Marriage is not always a bed of roses, problems may arise anytime and you have to be prepared. Disagreements or conflicts are part of any marriage but this doesn't mean that the marriage has to end. Knowing how to solve marital conflicts will prevent serious problems in your marriage like divorce and separation.

There are different ways and approach to solve marital conflicts but the most important thing is to find a solution that will work for your situation. Here are some tips:

Remember that you are arguing with your spouse and not with an enemy. It is not always bad to argue because this is the time to air your feelings but keep yourself reminded that you are arguing with the person you love, be careful not to hurt your spouse. It is so easy to say bad words but it will be hard to take it back and erase everything you said. The conflicts can be settled in a clean argument without attacking your spouse with bad words and irrational accusations. Use the word "I" often instead of the word "you." It is better to say "I am disappointed and I feel neglected" than saying "You disappointed me or you neglected me." If you avoid accusing your spouse and prefer a positive way to deal with the problems, it will be easier to solve marital conflicts without resulting to another argument.( Baumrind, 1983)

Control your anger. This is easier said than done, but it is not impossible to control your emotions. Do not let your anger control you. Nothing good will come out if your actions are dictated by your anger. Let it pass for a while and think things over before talking to your spouse about the conflicts and issues. Being angry is not a good start if you want to solve marital conflicts.

Compromise. To solve marital conflicts, you have to find a common ground to compromise. You have to meet in the middle and make an agreement about the issues that you both are trying to resolve. If one is not willing to compromise, then the problem will not be ...