SMART MARRIAGES



SMART MARRIAGES

This is a simple secret that I shared with thousands of couples in therapy and in my seminars: Successful couples enhance positive and diminish the negative, and couples who fail to diminish the negative and enhance positive. Couples who fail tend to think their failure is justified by the person with whom they married. They perceive that successful couples have an easy life, less stress and fewer problems than they have experienced. This is a false number of couples who fail. The successful couples bear the same number of problems, whether financial difficulties, work-related stress, conception problems, diseases and challenges with in-laws, but their system to deal with it is a very different model, and that's what that makes them successful.

Successful couples

Remember and have in mind the good things are happening in the relationship. They realize that their partners sometimes have a problem, and therefore do not take every negative thing that the couples 'say' or 'do' personally. After a fight, the couple in a failing marriage thinks things like, "How dare you!?" "What has he done lately to show me any love?" "So what if he's stressed, so am I, and perhaps it is not everyone?" or "He does not talk to his mother." This person does not make any effort to excuse negative behavior remembering some of the good things that your partner did recently, or perhaps thinking that his behavior has nothing to do with it.

I'm certainly not trying to say that the successful couple does nothing to excuse a fight, but a successful couple immediately decreases the negative, than the fights quickly, and the offended person often gets a sincere apology (and your partner is grateful that her error was not transformed into a "World War III").

Men often go deeper in their views when ...