NARRATIVE ESSAY

Narrative Essay - Trying to Quit Smoking

Narrative Essay - Trying to Quit Smoking

In this brief narrative essay, I will attempt to shed light on my smoking habit. I will elaborate on the reasons because of which I started smoking, the drive that strengthened my habit, the return of awareness and my struggle to quit smoking. When I was 13 years old, I was ambitious and energetic. I was hungry for approval and appreciation; and it was during this state of mind that I was hit with the realization that my friends' mothers would pick them up from school every day while my mother had left me when I was 2 months old. No matter how hard I tried I was unable to cope with the feeling of abandonment as it continued to weigh down upon me. Eventually I began to search for distractions to engage and comfort myself. The downward emotional spiral led me to the charm, style, strength and independence that are frequently attributed to the cigarette. I began smoking because it was better than standing around and moping. In my perspective, it was an improvement because I was part of a new crowd that I could talk to; even if only about cigarette flavors and strengths. Little did I know that my perspective was skewed and I was not in a new world - in fact, I had changed my world forever.

I would hide my smoking habits from the few I knew would discourage me because they cared about me. This led me to distance myself from the few people who I should have held on too most tightly at that point in time. I consider it imperative to highlight that I resorted to smoking as a defense mechanism. I was upset and confused and my mental state was absolute turmoil. I did not trust anybody enough to reach out to them and I felt that nobody was going to take out the time to reach out to me. In those days, I felt as if everybody was heading towards a perfect life if they did not already have one; while my future was ambiguous and without any direction. In retrospect, I can see now that I was anxious and I longed to bring about some form of change in my life. Smoking allowed me to change my daily activities. I needed a project and smoking became that ...