How to Win Friends and Influence People



How to Win Friends and Influence People

Introduction

How to Win Friends and Influence People is such a well known classic that the title itself has passed into the language. Is there anyone alive on the planet who is not familiar with the words 'How to Win Friends and Influence People'?

Thesis Statement

The most influential of all self-help books was first published in 1936 by a former farm hand who, through grit and determination, achieved great success.

REVIEW

Basic Lessons from Famous Historical Figures

The basic lessons of How to Win Friends and Influence People are simple. Nor are they new. Dale Carnegie admits as much himself, using examples from a long line of famous people. Everyone from Jesus and Confucius to Socrates and Abraham Lincoln are quoted for their wisdom on the subject. According to Carnegie, Jesus's famous words capture the spirit of his book: "Do unto others as you would have others do unto you."

The Problems of Human Nature

It is natural for people to be vain, pompous, opinionated and self-righteous, Dale Carnegie admits. It's a part of human nature. If someone is found to be in the wrong, the impulse is always to high handedly correct them. This is how people rise in their own self-esteem: by putting down others. Instead of trying to make the other person feel good about themselves, the first impulse is for the individual to put their own self-worth ahead of everyone else's. Naturally enough, this can only cause resentments and ill-will in those receiving criticism - whether it's deserved or not. The hurt person will withdraw socially and close up mentally.

Dale Carnegie highlights that such vanity and pride is the easiest trap to fall into. It's instinctive to protect our dignity and maintain a stubborn position, even if it's wrong. Yet to win friends and influence people, the best way is not to get people on the wrong side.

Getting people on the wrong side also shuts down their abilities to think openly. People will not be responsive to new ideas and thinking if they are in a state of siege, defending themselves against criticism.

The Importance of Maintaining Personal Discipline

In short, Carnegie preaches self-discipline. The first rule of How to Win Friends and Influence People is to think of the other person first - always.

Most people crave a feeling of importance. They like to be appreciated. And above all, they want to feel respected for their opinions and character. Dale Carnegie suggests we should seek out the good qualities of the people we come into contact with, and try to control the darker impulses that come with personal vanity and excessive pride.

By being an open vessel, ready to genuinely listen and show appreciation, will give cause for people to be friendlier and more open to outside influences.

How To Win Friends & Influence People is one of the granddaddies of the self-help genre. Dale Carnegie first published the book in 1937. It has continued to be popular because of the always-appealing ...