Abstract

In the following paper, I shall attempt to cover the main points of Em Griffin's book “Making Friends and Making Them Count”, then I will provide a critical analysis of his work in my opinion; and lastly explain what of his advice I will apply to my life. I have pulled research from his book, as well as a few selected quotes from various sources and authors. He also uses charts to illustrate the stages of friendship, which I explain briefly. He then employs lists of pointers and tips to guide us to better relationship formation and communication. Abbreviations used within this paper are: (nAch) the need for achievement, (nAff) the need for affiliation, and finally (nPow) the need for power. It is my goal simply to present my opinions on this work in a clear concise, and relevant manner.

Making Friends and Making Them Count

Introduction

Em Griffin did an excellent job when handling the topic of friendship, though perhaps a bit wordy and overly nostalgic in some of his illustrations. I thought he accomplished his task, to simplify and explain communication and friendship. While it is my personal opinion that a few of his analogies and comical stories could have been left out or shortened, I realize that some may find them more entertaining and better understand the topic because of it. He begins his journey into understanding friendship by comparing it to well known activities or games, starting with bowling he sets out what are similarities between friendship and bowling. Then he begins to use an illustration of ping-pong and friendship, this analogy was the one that honestly made the most sense to me. For conversations and friendships do often bounce back and forth between two people, at times one misses, but then they can always start it again. Finally, he used charades; this too seemed logical. As communication and friendship is a guessing game, without the whole picture we are forced to guess at snippets of images, words, phrases, and expressions. Like our textbook he emphasizes during the entirety of the book that communication is a process, he explained the 'ten steps', which I shall list below:

Interpersonal communication is a process

Interpersonal communication starts with self

The chances for effective communication increase as people become aware of their

motives for getting together.

People communicate to reduce uncertainty.

Words do not mean thing- people mean things.

You cannot not communicate

Without identification there is no communication

To reveal oneself opening and honestly takes the rawest kind of courage

Communication is irreversible and unrepeatable

Communication = content + relationship

Each of these topics are the topics to each chapter, it can be divided into three parts. “Understanding me”, “Understanding thee”, and finally “Understanding we”. I will go into more depth over the next few pages. He said that some writers called the relationship that formed between two people “a spiritual child”; he liked this picture and developed it by describing the fact that a child is nurtured and developed, or stunted by inattention and neglect. I think another good quote ...