Guidelines for Setting and Maintaining Boundaries in Life

Introduction

Boundaries are the limits one sets in their life. It has lots of importance in sustaining and maintaining life and keeping it focused and in order.

Let's start off by gaining a clear understanding of the definition of a boundary. A Boundary reflects your personal desires with a definite consequence from crossing or not respecting a set boundary. For example: "If you touch me in an inappropriate manner, our relationship will end" Is a boundary. Broken down, it clearly states that you have a personal desire to not be physically hurt by someone you love and the consequence for crossing the boundary is I will leave you.

Discussion

Ferriss (pp. 45) mentions boundaries are not only important for adults, but also as a parent raising children. Our children's trust is developed between the ages of 3-6 years of age. Teaching young children your boundaries will help them to grow up with a sense of knowing that "If I do this, this is what I can expect" It is important to the stages of the child's development to learn what boundaries you have set for the child, but as the child grows, it's also important that you, as the parent, teach them how to establish healthy boundaries as they move into the young, teenage years (Ferriss, pp. 111-115).

What boundaries do you have for yourself? Maybe, you don't have any boundaries at all or maybe, you don't enforce the consequences. This happens sometimes because as children we were taught to be "obedient" This is a problem for many women raised in dysfunctional families, as it has taught us to become "people pleasers" (Ferriss, pp. 89-90) and can might also take us down the path towards co-dependency.

Hyposis can help us to learn to love ourselves enough & to break free from some of those old, out-dated beliefs so we can begin to establish healthy boundaries by placing suggestions of self-love, self-worth, etc into our subconscious minds. It also, enables you to return to a younger age and inserting assertiveness towards a family member or members which, then, enables us to have the self-confidence to begin establishing safe, healthy boundaries.

Children don't come with how-to manuals. Parents are often at the mercy of trial and error in regard to their parenting techniques.

Boundaries are the foundation for raising a well-mannered and confident child that will go grow into a well-mannered and confident adult. The mastery of setting age appropriate boundaries will go a very long way in making family life a much happier experience for everyone (Fredrickson, pp. 22-23).

I'm sure we've all at one time or another encountered children whose parents lacked knowledge in regard to setting boundaries… these children are generally rude, disrespectful, and disruptive at nearly every encounter.

A great characterization of children with no boundaries would be Roald Dahl's “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.” How brilliantly he developed his ensemble of children that were given no boundaries… the spoiled Veruca that learned if she yelled enough she could have her way, ...