FAILURE OR SUCCESS IN LIFE, A MARRIAGE

Failure Or Success In Life, A Marriage

Failure Or Success In Life, A Marriage

Everyone knows how hard it is to find a mate for marriage. Having said that, each person is free to decide how the mate selection will take place. Some people would rather conduct this selection by themselves, without any help, while others prefer to get help from someone else, like their parents or a matchmaker. Before continuing it is wise to make a distinction between the traditional arranged marriage and the modern definition of an arranged marriage.

The arranged marriages that happen by tradition in parts of Africa, most of Asia and a good portion of Eastern Europe are determined by the parents without the consent of the future couple. The modern view is very different from traditional view. Today's definition makes a distinct emphasis on choice, courtship and convenience. In most instances it is a service, provided by an agency, or a good friend. The purpose is to find a compatible mate, with the greatest number of similarities and the same primary objective: marriage. This text will compare and contrast some of the advantages and disadvantages of today's version of the arranged marriage.

We are seeking too much from marraige today. Life has become impersonal. Our circle of friends changes often, and there are few long-time friendships. The family has cut itself adrift from formerly close kindship bonds. Now all the closeness and intimacy previously shared in these other ways among many people is being focused on one person, and the whole load is placed on one pair of shoulders-the husband's or the wife's. It is only realistic to recognize the strain that this excessive closeness and extreme demand places upon both husband and wife. One cannot be expected to be mate, brother, father, friend, and psychiatrist all rolled up in one.

Conflict can be creative, and the love which is "patient and kind" is able to embrace tensions creatively in at least two ways:

First, it makes possible an openness and honesty about one's disappointments. Often a person feels that his faith forbids him to be honest or critical with his mate, but you owe it to your marriage partner to let her know how you feel. Such openness, within the setting of love and acceptance, can be the basis of a new beginning and partnership at a deeper level...

Second, this love ...