EXPERIENTIAL BEREAVEMENT AND LOSS

Experiential Bereavement and Loss

Experiential Bereavement and Loss

Introduction

The experience of grief wears many faces for families whose lives are challenged by change? turmoil? illness? death and/or the loss of hopes and dreams. Grief is a process not easily acknowledged in our society? particularly the grief of experiences other than death. Yet sorrow is often an integral part of most life alterations and experiences. Families who can accept their sorrow and discover healthy ways to articulate their agony can then free their emotional energies to focus on life and the trials ahead. Grief that is not allowed a healthy release frequently finds expression in anger? abuse and/or neglect of a loved one? substance abuse? illness and sometimes by the sabotaging of another's efforts to help.?

It is a commonplace in the bereavement publications that unresolved sorrow can lead to difficulties contending with any deficiency throughout life. Families in need of planned or crisis respite all struggle with sentiments of loss. For example? a mother who seeks out crisis nursery services may also be in the process of divorce which brings its own unique grief to the situation. The family of a progeny advised medically fragile who is in need of respite care may know-how a sense of decrease over not having a "healthy" or flawless" child. The spouse of a family constituent with Alzheimer's may grieve the loss of the life they have designed together.

Knowledge of the method of sorrow and how to help persons and families cope with their decrease knowledge can be an invaluable asset to designed and crisis respite programs and their service providers. By offering individuals and families opportunities to grieve their losses and acknowledging the hurt that accompanies those losses? we offer them tools and strategies to cope with the ongoing losses that are a part of everyone's life.

Discussion

Grief is one's own personal know-how of loss. Mourning? on the other hand is "grief gone public." It is the outward sharing and expression of the pain. Sometimes it is helpful to make a distinction between the two in alignment to realise that there are some individuals in our humanity who have consent" to grieve but cannot mourn. Society does not easily acknowledge the grief of a parent whose child is born with a disability? parents who experience a miscarriage? families where a loved one is diagnosed with a life-threatening illness? families affected by AIDS? or dementia? such as Alzheimer's? etc. Caregivers can be cooperative to such families by labeling their know-how as one of grief and normalizing their agony and strong feelings. It is significant to recall that all deficiency need to be grieved in some way.

The Emotions of Grief

People experience the pain of grief with a variety of emotional responses which include shock ("it can't be true")? denial ("the tests were wrong")? anger ("why did she get AIDS and not someone else?")? guilt ("why did I smoke [or drink alcohol] during my pregnancy")? fear ("how will I manage to care for him?")? exhaustion? depression? confusion? and ...