WHY WE DO THE THINGS WE DO

Why We Do the Things We Do



Why We Do the Things We Do

Ever wonder what makes us feel and ack like we do, especially in our most important relationships? Why is it so hard to connect or even get along with those who mean the most to us? The answer lies in the profound effect of a child's bonding process with his or her parents. How successfully we form and maintain relationships throughout life is related to these early issues of attachment.In this transformational book, the authors have used ground-breaking research to develop four primary patterns of relating that shed light on our actions - and how we can learn to love and be loved even better. This book gives readers the understanding and the tools to not only steer away from negative patterns and break free of past mistakes, but create new, satisfying connections with their spouse, children, close friends and God.

This is one of the best books I have read since the 70's on relationships. There is a sound psychological basis to the chapters and the author deals with the work of well-known child psychologists like Bowlby and Ainsworth in a user-friendly way. What the title says is what the book explains. It's well written, humorous at times and easily digested. You are presented with scenarios that you can easily identify with and the characters are then analysed in such a way that the answer to your own issues are laid out before you. The book covers initial childhood attachments, the words that wound us, abandonment / loneliness, finding God in it all, taming depression, anxiety, anger and grief and finally how to be a good parent yourself having broken free from your own baggage. I highly recommend this book.

A must read for adults who want to better understand their childhood/family dynamics and improve them, and for parents who do not want to repeat mistakes of the past. The authors have offered insight into family dynamics based on scientific study and their work with patients. They have uncomplicatedly classifed relationships into 4 areas. The premise is that our relationship styles are based on the relationships we had in our families. I have not been able to book the book down. The authors also offer a section on building healthy relationships with our children and tools to change your future.

Over the years, despite a successful career, great husband and family, I have had nagging feelings of emptiness and loneliness my entire life. But on the outside, I look like a happy, well adjusted and confident working mom. What is the source of these feelings and how do I replace them with happy feelings? I have been reading books on self-esteem. Some of the content is relevant, but I feel that what I am reading is a prescription for a symptom, not the true problem.

Reading "Why you do the things you do" was an incredible Ah-ha ...