SELF-DEFEATING BEHAVIOUR

Self-Defeating Behaviour

Self-Defeating Behavior

Introduction

A self-defeating behavior that distracts you from accomplishing tasks and goals can be called self-defeating. Let me give you an example: Your husband complains that when he gets home, the house is never clean. So he leaves for work. There are four loads of laundry to wash, the bathroom needs to be cleaned and the carpet vacuumed, but you leave and shop for a pair of shoes you don't really need, have lunch with a friend, go to the movies, and by the time you get home, hubby is home and angry that the place is still a wreck.

Let's try a different example:

That corner office at work is very appealing, but instead of volunteering for the big projects that would give you the exposure for a promotion, you complete easy and mundane tasks that leave lots of time to surf the web while you're at work. This negative behavior sabotages your personal goals in life and you are robbed of the opportunities to excel. The accomplishment of attaining your dreams remains unfulfilled.

Discussion

Causes of self-defeating behavior

People tend to act in a self-defeating manner if they have low self-esteem, emotional stress or their ego is threatened. I'm sure none of us have ever written a “to do” list that is impossible to accomplish or committed to so many projects that we ultimately failed in following through with one of them.

When you ignore the problem and focus on numbing the pain you feel with a temporary solution, those actions are usually fuel with irrational emotion. This type of emotion is founded not on fact, but on a victim attitude or self-defeating behaviors.

The self-defeating behavior is a kind of self-punishment in response to a personal failure, which can be either real or perceived. This may or may not be related to hatred itself.

It is often perceived as self-defeating behavior is motivated by a need for attention. It can also be seen in individuals suffering from clinical depression.

The self-defeating behavior (CADI) goes unnoticed, often denied, belittled or distorted both by the subject who performs as the people around him. The difference between direct and indirect self-defeating behavior is that live is consciously and intentionally self-defeating, while the indirect no. The CADI can be seen as a slow suicide, unconscious and long term in a repeated behavior and tends to increase the intensity with which they occur.

Prevention from self-defeating behaviors

Just in case you ever fall into the trap of self-defeating behaviors, here are a few tips to help:

Recognize you have a problem. Doing this first is the only way you will ever be able to start the process of helping yourself.

Associate with positive people who look for the good instead of dwelling on the unpleasant.

Finish the tasks that you start and don't begin a new task until the first one is completed.

Get rid of the people who insist on treating you poorly.

Take time to enjoy yourself in carefree timelessness.

Spend time with people who seek resolution to their problems and act upon the ...