Revision Summary



Task 4

Revision Summary

This section will be discussing the summary of the revision and editing that has been made in the rough draft that was previously created. The changes that are made in the previously created draft are presented by yellow highlight in the paper. These changes could be viewed by referring to the paper given in the appendix. Firstly, a change was made in the title of the paper that was previously written as a question. It has now been changed to a suitable title in accordance with the subject of the paper. Secondly, some editing was done to correct the grammatical errors and punctuation mistakes that were present in the paper. Thirdly, rewriting and editing of wrong sentences present in the paper was done to maintain the structure and meaning of the word and sentences used in the paper. The revised changes are highlighted in yellow color, and are made to maintain the flow, structure and meaning of the paper.

Use of Revision Strategies

The following are the revision strategies that were used for revising the previously created draft.

Work with My Course Mentor

Working with my course mentor has helped me refine my topic. Initially everything starts in a rough manner. Even the diamond extracted from mine in its raw form is dirty. It needs hard chiseling and work on it to shine and glitter. Similarly, working with him has helped polish my work, bringing it from its rough stage to the finished and polished final outcome.

Attending chats

Chats and discussion helped me broaden my horizons opening my eyes to things I had previously skipped

Conducting peer reviews

Getting reviews from my peers has helped me gain valuable criticism at even the basic stage, making each of my drafts infinitely better than the last.

References

Borgese, J., Heyler, D., & Romano, S. (2012). Revision strategies for adolescent writers: Moving students in the write direction. Thousand Oaks, Calif: Corwin Press. Data retrieved from books.google.com/books?isbn=141299425X on 24th January, 2013.

Schaefer, L. M. (2006). Teaching the craft of writing: Revising & editing. New York: Scholastic. Data retrieved from books.google.com/books?isbn=0439444039 on 24th January, 2013.

Appendix

Revised Draft

Influence of Media on Eating Disorders in Adolescents



Influence of Media on Eating Disorders in Adolescents

Thesis Statement

“Different kinds of media and advertisements badly influence eating habits of adolescents and children and thus are serious cause of their unhealthy diets.”

Introduction

Media is a double-edged sword, and a major cause of healthy or unhealthy eating habits particularly in children and teenagers. In the modern world, media has now become a key part of our lives and one of the most invasive powers. No matter if children and adolescents are in their homes, in the malls, on the roads or anywhere else, they are continuously being targeted with pictures, images and messages through hundreds of channels, newspapers and advertisements.

They are unable to escape the influence of media, from television to the Internet, huge billboards to iPads, and smart phones and DVDs in cars. In particular, adolescents use major part of their time interacting with several forms of ...