Reflective Lyrical Essay

“It may be shocking to some people in this country to realize that, without meaning to do so, they hold views in common with Hitler when they preach discrimination against other religious, racial or economic groups.”

? Henry A. Wallace

This friend of mine who belongs to Afghanistan sent me an email to invite me to the wedding of one his elder brothers. Since my old words fail me, I shall narrate my friend's letter in his own words here,

"I know you have always been mystified with culture. Mystified because of the way it evolves and how it becomes what it is - culture. My definition of culture is different from other people's as to me it means the shared knowledge, communication, beliefs and lifestyle of a group of people. But what interests me most is the way people value their culture and whether or not one culture can be called positive while others can be called negative. This I realized when I attended a wedding in Afghanistan, my native country. Afghanistan is a valley rich of colors and design. While some may find it difficult to accept, I have been to the country myself and know of the beauties there. I want you to come here and personally experience this event as I am sure you will leave with pleasant memories you will cherish for life. "

Upon my friend's invitation and insistence, I observed a very unique culture in Afghanistan. This culture relates to the festival of marriage. I personally believe, marriage is one of the most sacred bonds between a man and a woman. The wedding I attended was being celebrated with all the zeal and zest.

My friend in Afghanistan told me, "…marriage means the vow that the wife and husband make with each other to remain sincere, loyal and faithful to each other for the rest of their life." This is also reflected in the very low divorce rate for the country. Though bigamy and polygamy is common, the divorce rate has continued to remain low because women have accepted this as part of their culture.

I attended an Afghan wedding, only to discover that the consummation of a marriage in Afghanistan is a very unique culture that has been continuing for ages. The wedding I was attending was the wedding of one of friend's brother. Like most marriages in Afghanistan, it was set up by family members, that is it was an arranged marriage (Faur, 2007). When the couple got married, i.e., when they signed the nikah nama, the families of the bride and groom sent the bride and groom into a room for the consummation of marriage and stood outside the room. I was part of the crowd standing outside the newly wedded couple's room myself. Honestly speaking, I was feeling a little awkward. As per the tradition, the groom took charge of things. He took his wife's virginity and then threw a stained handkerchief outside the room for the two families to ...