Question 5

Question 5

Introduction

The Very Beginning

My educational journey has been a strange journey with my first memory at 4 years old. I remember the first knowledge of my learning abilities when my mother was screaming over me saying “ you are not my daughter you are retarded”. At the time I wasn't sure of the meaning of retardation, but I was aware my mother wasn't happy with me. I later learned I was not accepted in my family due to my academic learning abilities. My next learning experience that I recall was my mother standing over me at the dinner table trying to help me with homework. I was in tears as she was screaming at me “ you are too stupid to learn anything.” These are my educational learning memories. I carried this core belief with me most of my adult days. I turned fifty and met the faculty at HRD and MTD, which changed my life forever.

The Change

I took my education learning into the vocational trade, I passed so many vocational classes I was hungry to prove my mother wrong. I stumbled on the Human Resource Development and training program with Idaho State University. My first contact with the program was Doctor R Croker. He had little patience with my insecurities and pushed me to develop a life long learning plan. I had never attended my core classes in College. I did not have enough faith in myself to pass the English and Math requirements in College. Dr. Croker opened my eyes that different people have different learning styles and to explore my own style. Dr. Croker opened me up to self discovery with the difference of Academic Education and the theory of Multiple intelligence Howard Gardner book, 1983 “Frames of Mind: The Theory of Multiple Intelligences.

I discovered I was an Interpersonal, Intrapersonal skills and Naturalistic. I was so thrilled to discovery I was not retarded or slow to learn. I completed my core classes and graduated with three degrees and began my journey with HRD. It was my class with Dr. Scott when she posed the question of what was my educational motivation. I begin my journey of my educational process. In the class with Dr. Scott is when I realized I was allowing my mother to live in my head. I wanted acknowledgement that I was intelligent and not retarded from my mother. I spent my entire career hoping to make my mother proud.

Another Set Back

This did not happen. The real awaking for me was traveling to ISU campus to take a test. I failed miserably on the test. My mother's voice was in my head from ISU to I- 84 interchange, telling me how stupid I was, how I would never succeed in life. I got to the interchange and started doing a self-inventory. I have four degrees; I am starting my Graduate program. I couldn't believe one failure put me back to those childhood days that quick. I stopped it and started positive ...