Making Friends (& Making Them Count)



Making Friends (& Making Them Count)

Exploring the art of friendship, Em Griffin converse what attracts one person to another; how self-concept affects relationships, how people form first impressions, and what elements make for lasting friendships. Friendship is a word that has a different meaning for each of us. Smith, Cowie and Blades (2003) defined friendship as a close relationship between two particular individuals, as indicated by their association together or their psychological attachment and trust. This description refers to a reciprocal friendship, whereas Rawlins (1992) describes the characteristics of a close friend in a rather unilateral way as somebody to talk to, to depend upon, rely on for help, support and caring, have fun and enjoy doing things together.

There have been numerous endeavors to identify common characteristics that would comprehend the variation in the perception on friendship. Newcomb and Bagwell (1995) identified five particular features of friendship by comparing children's and adolescents' relations to their friends and to non-friends. It was found that their relations to friends were based more on reciprocity and intimacy; they had been having more intense social activity and more frequent conflict resolution; also more effective task performance was found among friend peers. Sharabany (1994) structured the concept of 'close friendship' into the following eight dimensions: Frankness and Spontaneity; Sensitivity and Knowing; Attachment; Exclusiveness; Giving and Sharing; Imposition; Common Activities; Trust and Loyalty.

Selman and Jaquette (1977, cited in Strayer & Roberts, 2004) suggested a five stage model of adolescents' and adults' understanding of friendship that linked to stages of perspective-taking abilities. In late adolescence and early adulthood an autonomous interdependency characterized the friendship in which friendships were regarded, still important but the need for other relationships was accepted. Evidence of awareness that relationships develop and change over time was found. Newcomb and Bagwell (1995) found that factors such as initial attraction and preference based on perceived similarity to their friends significantly influenced the formation of adolescents' friendship. Other factors, such as age, sex, ethnicity, mutual liking, and activity preferences also influenced friendship formation, whereas attitude and similarity values were weaker factors. They also suggested that the degree of friendship closeness should affect the strength of the friendship and that reciprocal friendships are stronger than unilateral friendships.

The same-sex friendship in childhood and adolescence has been well investigated and its significance across the lifespan has been acknowledged[1]. However, normative individual differences in the perception of friendship among heterosexual young adults has had little research attention. In this study my intention was to contribute to filling this gap by exploring individual differences in the perception of friendship including needs attached to close relationship.

Knowing each other is also essential to get close to each other. When Jane describes a particular situation where someone proved to be a real friend to her, she mentions that her friend knew all about the reasons why she did not want a party to celebrate her 18th birthday. This indicates that at that time she had a close and genuine ...