DIVORCE OR RECONCILE

Divorce or Reconcile

Divorce or Reconcile

Introduction

The biggest decision that two people will ever make in their lives is to forsake all others and make a commitment to the vows of marriage. By entering this contract, the expectation of both parties is that nothing will ever come between them and that they will meander, hand-in-hand, into the twilight of their senior years with a combined legacy of memories.

Divorce or Reconcile

Unfortunately, the current divorce rate bears out that half of all couples who say “I do” will never reach that happily ever after. While age, maturity, shifting values and poor communication skills account for many of these failures, the most difficult one to deal with is the discovery that a partner has been unfaithful. Should you stay or should you go?

The following considerations will help you assess whether there's enough “there” there to mend the emotional damage wrought by a straying spouse. (Paul, 1999, 12)

Marriages that are built on mutual respect and trust don't suddenly fall apart just because an attractive third party came into the scene. Tempting as it is to lay all the blame for infidelity on an outsider's flirtatious machinations, a spouse who succumbs to the excitement of an extramarital affair was already conscious of or contributing to a breakdown in his or her marriage. The question is whether they decide to act upon this dissatisfaction/frustration with a one-night fling or have, in fact, been seeing someone (or assorted someone's) on a continuous basis. (Paul, 1999, 12)

How you found out, of course, makes a big difference in your willingness to give someone a second chance. Did your spouse fess up to cheating because he or she simply couldn't live with the subsequent guilt of having lied to you? Was it something blurted out in the heat of an argument ...