Assignment

Entry # 1

Purpose and audience

The purpose of this essay is to determine the importance of letters written to the grandparents. The paper is intended to address grandchildren who send emails to their grandparents. This essay teaches them how a written letter can provide happiness to their grandparents. An email is easy to send but children should know how an extra effort may work for their elders. This essay draws out the feelings of grandparents while they receive something hand written.

Thesis statement, topic sentences, and paragraphs

The paper needs a defined thesis statement which is absent in it. That statement should represent the whole idea of the topic. For example “a written letter provides eternal happiness to grandparents rather than an email”. On the other hand the paragraphs are arranged in quite effective manner. They also connect one paragraph to another through topic sentences which do not need revision.

Evidence

In order to make an essay more persuasive, evidences should be given. This essay lacks clear evidences. Tough, demonstrations of feeling can be located in it but examples from some fictional personal account could be given. In this way readers can relate to the written paper. Evidences are a must when writing an essay.

Organization

The organization of this essay is little vague. It needs a clear introduction which could address the intended audience. Instead of forbidding grandchildren from sending emails, writer should explore the feelings of grandparents towards the things sent by them. The paper also needs thesis statement at the end of first paragraph. On the other hand, the last paragraph should have an evidence, although, last line seems to be a punch line.

Entry # 2

Altering the public space

Altering a public space is about changing how a person, thing or any place makes you feel. It often happens that people ...