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There are a number of common social-emotional skills that children need to cultivate as they grow, learn, and mature that will contribute to their positive social development. In the booklet, Academic and social-emotional learning, Maurice Elias describes a set of skills that The Collaborative for Academic, Social, and Emotional Learning has identified that “…underlie effective performance of a wide range of social roles and life tasks.” (Elias 2003) In this essay, I will describe three of these skills and the potential positive and negative impacts that family and classroom environments can have on their development.

The first skill or capability is to “Care for others.” (Elias 2003) This skill is influenced through the development of pro-social behaviors - defined as “…voluntary actions toward others such as caring, sharing, comforting, and cooperation.” (Slavin 2009) Pro-social skills are important for children to acquire as they influence the development of empathy and respect for self and others, an appreciation for diversity within society, and essentially how a person interacts with their peers and society. These social skills are developed through interactions with family, relatives, and peers as a child or adolescent matures. They can also be taught through coaching in school if not learned adequately in the home environment. The second skill or capability is to “Know yourself and others.” (Elias 2003) This skill is influenced through the development of self-esteem. This characteristic is how a child or adolescent values themselves, their abilities, and their achievements. Inter-related with self-esteem is the characteristic of self-concept. This is how a child or adolescent perceives their “…own strengths, weaknesses, abilities, attitudes, and values.” (Slavin 2009) These two traits are strongly influenced by both family and school experiences. As they mature and become more capable of abstract thought, children began to compare and evaluate their actions and abilities with their family and peers to both determine social norms and to modify their self-image based on these social comparisons. These comparisons directly influence the child or adolescents self-concept and self-esteem. The third skill or capability is to “Know how to act.” (Elias 2003) This skill is influenced through the development of a sense of initiative. According to Erikson's theory of personal and social development, this occurs between 3 to 6 years of age, during Stage III, Initiative vs. Guilt. The development of this skill influences a child's sense of ambition and ability to pro-actively engage with their environment. This in turn can affect the growth of relationship building, problem solving, and goal setting abilities until the child or adolescent resolves this personality crisis.

They begin to form their own views such as which sports to play, which groups of friends to be included in, and what personal appearances are attractive. The development in thinking that happens during adolescence needs nurturing in order for it to develop. If an adolescent is not exposed to abstract concepts and ideas at home and in school, then this ability atrophies, and the teenager may grow up to be an adult who is a concrete thinker ...