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Paper Feedback

Evaluate national strategy for physical protection of critical infrastructure and key assets.

Name of the original Writer: John Moteff and

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This is a wonderful essay. If You will be graded on tense and spelling, have someone proof read it and change the tense to past or present, as well as correct a few spelling errors. Your essay is interesting, and heartfelt. You need a more clearly defined thesis sentence and you would suggest it not be written in the first person. Your ideas are good, and the last paragraph is by far the best. It seems like you wrote the first 3 paragraphs to get your thoughts down but didn't really figure out quite where it was going until the end. You have tried to take a few minutes to decide on what position you are going to take on the paper and pick 3 examples to support your position, maybe listing pros/cons and arguments for or against and then start writing, incorporating her main points into the thesis and writing a paragraph on each, tying it all together in the conclusion. Based on the guidelines you posted you would probably give it a 3, but better organization and a whole paper written more in the style of the last paragraph would likely be worth at least a 5. For example in this paper you have exposed the principles, procedures and instruments proposed to implement EPCIP. Threats against which the program is expected to meet are not limited only to terrorism but include criminal activity, natural disasters and other causes of accidents, according to an all-hazards approach. The overall objective of EPCIP is to improve critical infrastructure protection (CIP) in the European Union (EU). This objective will be achieved through the implementation of EU legislation on the PIC, which is presented in this paper. You didn't look at the scoring guidelines, but what jumped out at me was that the instructions said to give specific examples, and YOU didn't see any specific examples. The paper is not so well organized the focus should be on formatting.

Discuss efforts to improve information sharing between agencies (federal, state, and local)

Name of the original Writer: Paul Parfomak

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Your essay should contain these three elements. Your story, what it means to you and how it will affect the person you will be. Your first couple paragraphs are choppy. In your last paragraph, have a ...