MARRIAGE COUSELLING

Marriage Counseling: John Gottman



Introduction

A University of Washington psychology professor and a renowned marriage cousellor Mr. John M. Gottman, is the co-director of Seattle Marital & Family Institute. Gottman has authored more than hundred articles and dozens of books and on several occasions has been awarded for their significant contribution to the study of the couple and the family.

He has done an in depth study of marriage by applying precise scientific processes to discover the like, dislikes and attributes of couples over many years in unparalleled detail. The book seven principles for making marriage work; Gottman has culminated his life's work on marriage counseling by extracting out his research the seven principles that guide couples on the road to sustainable and harmonious relations. Calculated in their plan, however sound in its effects, the rationales present amazing novel schemes to make the marital life balanced. Gottman assists couples concentrate on each other, to be careful to every day and minor details which, put together, form the heart and soul of any relationship. Accompanied Gottaman's long research, this is an unequivocal guidebook for maintain good family relationships. Gottman maintains an inquisitive tone throughout the book. He says his goal is nothing less than discovering the truth about marriage, finally answering the questions for so long we have thought: Why marriage is sometimes so hard? What helps relationships work, what acts as thorny elements in marital relationship? And how we can salvage a sinking marriage?    Since many decades, Gottman is busy observing couples move at the Research Laboratory for Family in Seattle. By the use of devices like cameras, body sensors and mirrors, Gottman with his fellows successfully fed their Love Lab with the data to be analysed and researched.

Discussion

The author begins with giving an idea of the alarming family and marriage life picture he sees through his research. According to Gottman, in 91 percent of cases in which he predicted whether a marriage will succeed or fail, time has given him the reason. The forecasting is grounded on his hunch or his preconceptions concerning whatever may come of a marriage. In his research, Gottman finds that confirming climate of emotions, produced through infinite everyday interactions; helps protect couples of falling into overpowering negativism when they have difficult times. Conversely, the positive or "point" produced during the relationship makes it more difficult for couples to miss their image and reputation. Accordingly, the couples that are happy with their married lives bear on to each other throughout the infringing situations dissimilar to the manner the unhappy couples do.

Gottman asserts that first the reader will be tempted to dismiss his research findings, thinking they are nothing more than another long series of fashionable theories. But he proposes that the truth is that it is normal for us to be skeptical when someone claims to have found that makes a marriage last and how we can rescue our safe or secure divorces. Many people consider themselves experts on the topic of marriage and are ...