INFIDELITY: CAUSES AND FINAL EFFECTS

Infidelity: Causes and final effects

Infidelity: Causes and final effects

Introduction

Marriages they say are made in heaven. Even then the responsibility of nurturing and developing this bond is very much in the hands of the two people involved. Very few marriages can actually survive the burden and trauma of infidelity. It is true that most individuals do not consciously decide to destroy their marital vows by cheating on their partners. In some cases the relationship between the two individuals may already be on the verge of breaking and infidelity may just uncover the deep seated problems. However there are instances where seemingly the strongest marriages and relationships experience the problems of infidelity. “It is necessary to the happiness of man that he be mentally faithful to himself. Infidelity does not consist in believing or in disbelieving; it consists in professing to believe what he does not believe.”(Paine, 1809, 225)

Causes

“Physical infidelity is the signal, the notice given, that all fidelities are undermined.”(Bryan, 1924, 114)

There are some causes of infidelity that can help the involved individuals to perhaps understand what went wrong and why it happened. These causes then can only serve to ensure that they seek help and take important decisions about their relationship and life.

Typically when the discovery of an affair is made it can be devastating for the person who is at the receiving end of such an infidelity. Inevitably self blame is the first reaction after the news and the details are understood or then the person automatically wants to understand where he/she faltered in the relationship to make the other person take such a step. However it is important to understand that it is not their fault that makes their partners cheat. Cheating has more to do with how the cheating partners view themselves and how they feel about themselves. Many times it has everything to do with their self image. Someone whose self esteem is in tatters may seek to derive self fulfillment through the relationship.” When love becomes labored we welcome an act of infidelity towards ourselves to free us from fidelity”(Phillips,1884,285)

Sometimes perceived/real lack of emotional intimacy is the cause of infidelity. Typically women are more prone to indulging in cheating if they feel they are not validated, accepted, nurtured and loved in their relationship. If you say, I love you, then you have already fallen in love with language, which ...