BUSINESS COMMUNICATION DIARY

Business Communication Diary



Business Communication student diary

Student name

Section 1 - Reflection on 'writing diagnostic' seminar

1.1Copy your letter from the week 3 seminar into the box below. In the same box, include the comments written in class by your peer reviewer which relate to the 6 criteria for effective communication covered in week 1 ('practical, factual, concise, clear, persuasive and building goodwill'). State whether you agree/disagree with your peer reviewer's comments and why (150-250 words, not including letter itself)

Letter:

Dear Fan,

Tottenham did everything possible in its hands to secure the fans' benefit. We understand your disappointment and therefore here is a list of things you need to know which would help you understand the situation was not entirely the fault of the club.

It was primarily late ticket purchases that lead to the match entry delay.

Tickets went on sale there weeks prior to the match, and most fans received these on times

The tickets were posted to them because they booked early or they collected tickets several days before the game.

Our club took the decision to arrange for extra ticket collections in order to deal with the increased number of fans who booked late.

The club posted a large amount of publicity and warnings on the club website and via other media, before the match, advising fans to arrive early.

However, this advice was not followed, and still many fans arrived very late. But still to show our goodwill, we would like to offer you 15 % discount on your next order.

Thank you for your continued interest in Tottenham Hotspurs Football Club and we look forward to seeing you at one our matches again soon, and once again we would like to apologize if somehow we caused any problem intentionally.

Comments:

Practical- 'I am the representative of Tottenham'.

Factual- 'Thank you for your email regarding tickets and organizational issues'- Should have explained some of the reasons why it is not all the club's fault.

Not Concise.

Clear- 'we assure you that this will not happen again...', 'please accept out apologies'.

Builds Goodwill- To show our goodwill, we would like to offer you 15 % discount on your next order', 'once again we would like to apologize'- Should have been more formal.

I completely agree with the peer review comments because of the fact that it clearly depicts what this letter is trying to portray as an overall message to the reader. It's completely practical, as it clearly states the facts that were responsible for the problem that was raised. Also, as mentioned earlier it's also factual and this is the reason it makes it practical. As far as not being concise in concerned, the letter did drag a few points which were not needed. The letter was also very clear in its points and in the end builds goodwill by expecting a continued support from its fans and giving good regards.

1.2Referring to the 3-step writing process on p.124 of the course book Business Communication Today Eleventh Edition), state how successful you feel you were in 'analysing' ...